LIVE

COPE PHARMACY

Prescriptions for every kind of crypto loss. Walk-ins welcome. Bags accepted.

OPEN 24/7
like the chart
closed on green days

Patient intake

Tell the pharmacist what happened. Be honest, we've seen worse.

The pharmacist will pull up your worst losses and prescribe for them.

or describe it yourself
What happened
Symptoms (pick any)
Pain level
7
bargaining with the chart
NOW SERVING#4,2073 people ahead of you are also from $GOBLIN

Waiting for your next bad decision

COPE PHARMACYRx 0042069
PATIENT: Anon (bag holder)
HOPIUM XR 500mg
Dx: Acute Top Signal Syndrome
Take 2 tablets every time you open the chart.
QTY
69 tablets
REFILLS
Unlimited until ATH
FOR
Bought $GOBLIN at the top
COPAY
Your remaining dignity
DR
Dr. Wen, MD (Market Doomer)

Pharmacist's note

I've filled this one for a lot of people today. Drink water, close the app, and remember that unrealized losses are just gains that got lost on the way.

Your medical history

No records yet. Your first loss is always the hardest.

Your Rx card

Your worst losses

    Tap a coin to get a prescription for it.

    Parody. Not a real pharmacy, not medicine, not financial advice. No token, no wallet.